#1 Slow Writer

So I’m standing in the checkout line the other day. I’m at the grocery store and I’m experiencing that get-this-thing-done-on-to-the-next-thing mentality we all have driving us to an early grave in this great land of ours. And I notice the line’s a little slower than usual. Oh no, I think, the gal paying for her groceries has got her wallet out and is proudly showing the checker pictures of her loving grandchildren and the checker is wasting another second of my precious life giving the lady the obligatory “They’re so cute” schpiel. But no, I’m mistaken. The lady is starting to write a check. STARTING. You guessed it; she’s been standing there ogling the latest plethora of tabloid cleavages while her groceries have made their way across the scan-o-matic and only now is she tuning in enough to the task at hand to start writing her check. Not just filling in the total in the appropriate blank now that the checker is done. The lady is just now starting to write her check! And I think, WHAT IS IT about some people that they can’t plan ahead? You know at some point you’ll be paying. You know that at some point you’ll have to write a check. There’s a little table and a pen in front of you. Connect the mental dots for gosh sake! It’s not like planning how much to save for your retirement. It’s a check for your groceries. You do it every DANG WEEK. (SIGH)
Can’t we make people like that wear a special hat or something? I’m getting so tired of always picking the wrong checkout line.
America, ya gotta love it.