#3 Cell-volution

What is it about the cell phone that it has evolved to be the great communication teat of America? Seriously, I think they are absolutely remarkable tools. If you’re stranded on the freeway or Jason is chasing you around the house after your electricity has gone out, there’s nothing better. But why did we go from that to having this constant cyber-attachment permanently glued to the sides of our heads? Forget for a moment all the times SuperMom in her urban assault vehicle has almost run you down while she chats with her bunco sisters and almost veers into your lane. Or the real estate salesman who has no better place to close a deal than when you’re at the end of an off-ramp and he’s coming up behind you at 70 plus. No, I’m talking about the indoor abusers. The ones who prowl the video outlets and the grocery stores and need to talk to whoever it is back home about what movie to pick or what snack food to buy. What did these people do before when they didn’t have an electronic apron string to hang onto when they ventured into the wilds of the supermarket? How did they manage to negotiate the tricky million-dollar decision of white bread or wheat bread before they had a lifeline to the expert on the other end of the phone?
I was behind one guy at the store the other day and he was saying into his little mouthpiece: “What do you think, Slim Jims or jerky? Which would be better, Nacho Cheese or Ranch?”
I thought, what a loser. Then the guy holds up a can of Pringles to the window and says “What about this?”
This guy at the pump island outside said something into his phone. I’m no lip reader but it looked like the word “dude.” Then he gave the guy inside a thumbs up. Cellphones and mime. Communication evolves.
America, ya gotta love it.