#17 Waz-Dot?

So I’m on my computer the other day, and I decide to check out this website a friend told me about. The website is for the Washington Department of Transportation; WSDOT for short. Or as I like to say, WazDot? Cause they’ve got these cool webcams strung up all over that let you see traffic in various parts of the state. And those images are live on your computer. WazDot? Looks like one of the new Caddies. WazDot? I think it's a fuel truck on fire.
We are becoming so dependent on computers for the weirdest things. It's pretty sad that one of the new miracles of the 21st century is our ability to cyber-torment ourselves with vicarious images of being stuck in traffic all over the state. All from the comfort of our own home. Now there’s progress for you. I don’t know about you, but I like nothing more on a Sunday morning than firing up the computer and finding some place in the state where I can pretend I’m stuck in traffic.
Here’s why the images seem weird to me, and the morning news shows on TV that also use them.
ONE. Their only conceivable purpose is to keep me home. I'm not going to have the image updated enough from the time I leave my living room till the time my car makes it to the freeway for it to be any damn good except as a bad memory.
TWO. I do not have a TV in my car, and if I did, it’s likely watching it would provoke a WSDOT image similar to the ones I see on my computer.
THREE. That’s why I listen to traffic reports on the radio. Even when I do that, it’s usually not timely enough to take an alternate route to my destination, or if it is everyone else is on that same alternate route so who the heck cares.
FOUR. There are no alternate routes of the I-5 corridor in Washington State.
FIVE. Dense traffic around the Puyallup cut-off, the Gig Harbor turnoff and the S-curves is where I normally catch up on my reading.
And SIX. The WSDOT images are so grainy I feel like I’m watching a fifties porno flick. I keep expecting a beehive-coiffed nudie to flounce by in fishnet nylons, high heels and not much else. Now that would screw up traffic.
If you want to have some ironic fun though, do go to the website. It’s www.wsdot.wa.gov. See if what happened to me at work happens to you. On the right hand side of the home page you’ll see a link to the accountability section. At work when I clicked on the link I got an error message that said: “This page could not found.” Oops. Nothing more comforting than knowing accountability can’t be found in all of the Washington State Department of Transportation. Probably been privatized or something. In all fairness though, my computer at home found the page just fine. And I found something else. The text was pretty boring. So I went back to the pictures and managed to determine I’m not going out today. Maybe I’ll go to Recluse.net and find a picture of some rock I can crawl under.
America, ya gotta love it.