The news shocked the Catholic world. The Pope was resigning. It's a big deal. No Pope has resigned for 600 years. It's one of the jobs, like life itself, that you die to get out of.
I saw it coming when he opened up his Twitter account. Twittering to all the flock got too dang exhausting. Another example of the dangers of Tweeting.
And exhaustion is what the Pope claimed as his reason for retiring. But the Catholic world is not so impressed by the whole deal. For certain Cardinals, the points they made seem to be a bit of a papal smear campaign. What kind of example are you setting? They intone. God is supposed to sustain the weary. Faith will see you through.
You can't retire from popehood. What, you just don't have the spirit to continue? You can't be infallible anymore? Face it Benedict, you're just not going to fit in on the sundeck at the Florida condo rec area.
"I used to be in mutual funds. What did you do?"
"I was the Pope."
"Holy Jehoshaphat, you gave up a cushy job like that to come here?"
"I was tired."
"When did you announce your retirement?"
"The day before Mardi Gras."
"That's 2 days before Ash Wednesday, isn't it? Oh great, people gonna say you gave it up for lent. Nice legacy Benny boy."
"Hey, back off, I gave 'em two weeks notice."
"I'm just saying, Pope and all, everybody serving you, except for the celibacy thing, not a bad gig. It's not like your were out diggin' ditches every day. Your job looked about as close to retirement as it gets."
"I'm just tired."
"And, no bull, that'll be the headline that catches on,
'The Pope is Pooped.'"
America, ya gotta love it.