1816 Watching

Today's essay has to do with the word watch. Not the watch we wear on a wrist, though I wonder why we call it that. We look at it briefly, we don't watch it.
No, I mean watch like watch out.
If it ever seems as if there are some people who are just plain mean, now we have scientific proof. A recent study found that 6% of drivers actually swerved when they saw a realistic-looking fake small animal on the side of the road. The drivers swerved all right, but in an unexpected direction. They swerved so they could actually run over the small animal.
No word whether the drivers were driving trucks with realistic fake testicles dangling from their back bumpers.
As I said. Watch out.
Maybe they were just all het up. A rodent had bit their dog or something. Speaking of het up, that's another watch word. Recently the weather was very warm and the Weather Service said they were announcing an "extreme heat watch."
How does one watch heat? And how does one, when doing so, watch extremely? Is that like a really wide-eyed gaze? Get totally stoned and stare at the air?
When one is on a heat watch what is one watching? The little turbulence in the air as the heat radiates from the sidewalk? The mirages that form down a hot summer road? Perhaps complete with small animals?
And if a mirage is an illusion can we really say we are watching an illusion? Aren't we just imagining it? Or hallucinating? Not good for the weather service to say there is a heat hallucination on.
Perhaps the term "heat alert" would be an improvement.
I'd feel better if I knew the Weather Service had a heat alert device, and not a watching machine.
America, ya gotta love it.