Recently I heard an angry pundit
call someone by a cool old insult name. Guttersnipe. Doesn't that just reek of
the 17th century? Gadzooks Old Bean, that young rapscallion is a guttersnipe.
It got me thinking. If there's a
gutter version of a snipe, what exactly is a snipe? Does the word refer to
sniping, the practice of verbally nipping at an opponent? Or nagging, like the
proverbial fishwife? Equal time here, fish-husbands were often nag worthy.
I'd guess referring to anyone as a
gutter anything is not good. Except perhaps a "gutter and downspout
cleaning specialist."
So what is a snipe? My first
thought was that snipe was one of those imaginary things concocted by young
fellows to get their young women alone in a remote place. "Let's go on a
snipe hunt." Then they would go down to the shore and neck.
Also in that category were
grunions. Grunions, despite their name, were not snackfood favored by tokers in
need of a savory munchie. They were also semi-imaginary creatures one would use
as a date destination. "Let's go watch the grunion run, hon."
A little research surprised me.
Both snipe and grunion are real entities. Though their viewing was certainly
employed by aforesaid seaside suitors, they do exist. Grunion are small fish
that come ashore in droves to mate. Snipe are small shorebirds that are indeed
notoriously hard to catch. In fact, that's where we get the word sniper.
Guttersnipe, it turns out, had
nothing to do with either of those. It was originally a Wall Street word for a
streetcorner broker. You know, an unscrupulous, virtually non-regulated, evil
entity that takes advantage of the unwary. Also spelled AIG.
They once sold me some loan
guarantee derivatives, in a company that puts on submarine races.
America, ya gotta love it.
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