1344 Little Caesars

It’s a good news bad news sort of thing. A really depressing thing about the economy and a glimmer of hope.
First the depressing thing: The poverty rate is at a low not seen for 15 years. 14.3% of our populace, or 43.6 million people, live below the poverty line. This while the top 1% of the wealthy rake in 23.5% of the nation’s total income.
But here’s the good news. Our pets are more pampered than ever. Luxury pet purchases are up. And now your precious won’t have to be left out in the cold kennel when you go on a trip.
While you spend your hard-earned vacation waiting for hours at the airport and getting virtually stripped-searched on your way to cramped flying cattle cars and overhead bins crowded with overstuffed carry-ons paid for with overpriced surcharges, your little Caesars can bask in luxury. Perhaps at the new 4.4 million dollar pet hotel, just opened up in Fort Worth Texas. It’s the Spa Paws Hotel. And it’s loaded with pet-menities. Like custom upholstered beds—no concrete kennel floor for your Fifi. The Hotel has satin blankets, and 18-inch flat screen TVs.
You can probably upgrade to 52-inch HDTV surround sound.
They also have a wellness center. For that morning constitutional, I suppose. Can dogs do the doodoo on a treadmill? Does the hotel staff use gilded pooper-scoopers?
Wow, you say, my little lapdog is quivering with anticipation. How much does this cost?
It’s only $200 a night. Hey, no need for CoCo to suffer one night just because $200 would buy a week’s worth of food for some starving human child.
Can’t wait ‘til they open one in Las Vegas. Because life’s a crapshoot. And we wanna pamper our pooch at Little Caesar’s Palace.
America, ya gotta love it.