1341 Modern Letters

Funny about our obsession with modern letters. It’s like if you can’t say it with letters, don’t send it out there.
Like the whole 3-D HD High Def thing. HD. High Def. Okay, I get it. But don’t try to apply it to anything other than electronic things. Recently I heard an ad from one of the paint companies that said they had a new paint with “High Def” color. Please. How many mega-pixels per gallon? Was it plasma or LED paint?
Oh, that plasma paint is so easy to apply.
Letters can get you into trouble. There’s a new payment method called EBT. It stands for Electronic Benefits Card. A modern way to handle food stamps. Unfortunately, when some places advertise they accept it, and those same places don’t insist on high-definition audio quality in their commercials, it sounds more like E-P-T.
So I can see some poor convenience store guy when the listeners comes in looking for a read on their test. “Um, I heard you accept EPT... Look at this stick thingy. Am I pregnant?
And this 3-D thing has gotten way out of hand. They’re now offering 3-D TV in some markets. I don’t think this is going to work for me. I already hate HDTV. The enlarged pores and bleeding injuries of some sports players are way too graphic to enjoy with a TV dinner.
Do I want 3-D in my living room? Am I ready for the Creature from the Black Lagoon on my coffee table? Hey, you’re dripping there! Dude, put down a coaster!
And the name of the whole thing—3-D HD. It’s bound to cause confusion. “Yeah I got 3-D HD.”
“Really? I had that in elementary school... but they OD’d me on Ritalin.”
America, ya gotta love it.