#651 Vibrate

So I read an article the other day about lap dances. The scientific discussion purported to demonstrate that the movement of women who were ovulating was enhanced in such a way as to make them more attractive.
Like some vibrating dance of the bees thing that men responded to on some subconscious level.
Researchers kept track of lap dancers and the tips they made. Lap dancers who were ovulating and more fertile made more tips than lap dancers who weren’t. Those actually menstruating earned least of all. Women using birth control pills did lower across the board.
The highest tips earned by ovulating lap dancers were about $70 an hour—more than a teacher but less than a lawyer. From this the scientist involved concluded that attraction is based on movement not pheromones.
It’s not chemistry, it’s dance fever.
Okay, a couple of things.
How did this guy get this grant? This seems like one of those things conservative congressman are always holding up about the misuse of public funds for bizarre research.
Perhaps it was something concocted on the spur of the moment by a science professor caught running up too many topless bar bills on the university credit card.
Um, I’m, yeah... doing research... research on, um, how ovulation enhances procreative attractants by the facilitation of rhythmic and undulating motion through reproductive endocrine cycling. That’s it.
Sure Professor Lounge Lizard, works for me.
I suppose the tough part was getting lap dancers to give up valuable tip time to submit to expensive ovulation testing.
Maybe they just picked up a cheap thermometer.
The other thing is, I don’t get that dancing had anything to do with it. I mean, if it was dancing up on stage 12 feet away maybe the guy would have a couple of points to look at.
But these women were lap dancing. If there’s any place that pheromones would have an effect it would be in the up close and personal environment of a lap dance.
And finally, what’s the point? Returning to the Elvis-inspired admonitions of fifties’ hysterical preachers, thundering to young people that dancing leads to pregnancy?
Maybe those congressman could justify approving this research after all. Does it come with pictures?
America, ya gotta love it