#636 Joyful Giving

Halloween is the time of year when we institutionalize begging. Or at least give it our cultural complicit consent.
Running the risk of training future bums.
And when some of the big kids come to my door actually dressed as bums, the irony sets my shoe magnets spinning.
I’m always torn as to what to give the little beggars. Especially since some of them appear to be in high school. Candy ain’t cheap. And besides, today’s youth is struggling with an even greater obesity problem than their parents—so is it right to feed this Halloween festival of gluttony?
So I’ve decided to take a stand.
I give out Candy Corn.
Candy Corn has a number of things to recommend it. The individual pieces are small. It’s pure sugar and corn syrup, so its glycemic index is easy to compute for any children whose parents may have them on the Atkins Diet.
And it’s the closest thing to a vegetable offering the candy food family has. It’s always important to have a vegetable. Vegetarian candy eaters can appreciate what I’m saying.
Arguably, Candy Corn would qualify as a candy grain, but as I was growing up, my family always viewed corn as an acceptable vegetable. Especially on the cob.
The other thing I do is to help teach children about moderation and restraint. Lessons often forgotten in the helter-skelter greedy grab for booty most kids surrender to on Halloween.
The opposite of gluttony needs to be presented, so children can embrace its austere beauty.
So I not only give out Candy Corn. I give out one piece of Candy Corn per child. I believe it’s important for someone to take a firm stand in this wild and crazy time.
And I have found, much to my delight, that the children appreciate it. And when it doesn’t rain on Halloween, come All Saint’s Day morning I find they’ve donated acres of fresh toilet paper for me to harvest from my trees and shrubbery.
Last year, after I re-rolled it, I had enough to last me to Mardi Gras.
America, ya gotta love it