#475 Spy Ware

I wrote something in my blog that included a passing mention of Newt Gingrich. Newt’s running for president you know. You don’t? Well trust me on this one. Lately the Newtser’s been positioning himself as a centrist a la McCain, and he’s hoping that his combination of intellect, alternative thinking and internet/computer savvy is going to get him the buzz in the blogosphere that will catapult him over the top of all the contenders. He’s even now engaged in fertilizing the virtual grassroots to bring that about. How do I know? I got on his mailing list. Or I should say his emailing list. I feel like a new age witch. I got Spam of Newt. And I got it because I once wrote about Newt in a blog. I didn’t say much. And I only did it so I would have the opportunity on the air to say Newt Gingrich. It’s so fun. It sounds like some sort of rash that Scottish people get. “Oh, I got the Newt Gingrich again.”
“Newt Gingrich? Was ya waring your kilts too tight?”
“May be, cause I kilts some skin cells and I got an angry boil.”
“Is it a carbuncle then?”
“Nah it’s a Newt Gingrich.”
Or maybe it’s some exotic meat dish made out of parts of the animal no one else wants. “What’s for dinner laddie, haggus?”
“Nothing so good. We just got a cold hunk of Newt Gingrich. I can give ya some head cheese with it.”
“Yum, I love Newt Gingrich, da ya have some cod liver oil I can chase it with?”
So anyhow, as a result of my one brief aside about Newt, his electronic spy minions, apparently ever searching the blogosphere for references to the self-appointed petty potentate of the metaverse, have added me to the Newtspam network. You know, his name could be useful. We got all sorts of disease names related to computers. Hackers and viruses and Trojans and spam. Newt’s would work just fine. Blog been splogged to ineffectiveness? You can say, Oh no, my blog has been Newtered. Computer running slow? It must be full of Gingrich…
America, ya gotta love it