#288 Mall Beware

Our new state tourism campaign features the resonating slogan, “Say Wa?” It’s been asked by many, how it is that the great and beautiful state of Washington, known for its beautiful mountains, its undulating wheat prairies, its surging rivers, and its wild coastline could end up being summarized by the vacant expression of a stoned out slacker. Say wa?? The answer is the focus group. Questionnaires were submitted to organizations who conducted focus groups. The results from the focus groups were collated, input from various committees was added and the result was a piece of sausage on a piece of white bread with a fake cream filling, with an adult’s perception of what they think a young person would respond to. To which I reply, remember when your mom shopped for you in junior high? You see, the idea is to get younger people traveling through Washington State. I guess the reliable stream of old people is just that, reliable, and there are only so many RV parks that zoning ordinances will allow. Or perhaps I’m overlooking something here. Perhaps the powers that be are going after the soon-to-be-retired boomer generation and looking to resonate with them with this “say wah” ex-hippie stoner thing. But the truth is likely something much simpler. And it’s happening nationwide—in every major policy decision and in every major trend in fashion, toys, software and movies. We are having our lives run by focus groups. It used to be polls, random samples, and trail balloons. Now it’s people hanging out in the mall. So I say, America, Mall Beware. Your fate is being carved by food court gluttons. Your future is being fashioned by people whose fashion sense is defined by baggy pants. The next big thing is being decided by someone who considers it a big deal to decide between clothing from The Gap and clothing from Old Navy. This is America’s dirty little secret. Focus groups are composed of people who are talked into going into a room at the mall, sitting down with a bunch of strangers and being asked questions by an interviewer after they’ve seen some lame video or an equally lame Powerpoint presentation. My opinions and the opinions of those like me, busy people who are engaged in their work, family, service organizations, and creative endeavors, never, ever, get in a focus group. Translation, most hardworking ordinary Americans are not the ones who end up propped on their capacious keesters eating free food and fielding leading questions from focus group facilitators. No, in this great golden age of consumer-driven marketing our destiny is being driven by mall hanger-outers. Many of whom don’t even know how to drive. Or were so stupid they had their driving licenses taken away for failure to appear violations. Which perhaps explains their being drawn to the expression, say wa?
America, ya gotta love it.