#265 Lest We Forget

When I went to Canada recently, I couldn’t help but notice that there were a few cross dressers plying the streets of Victoria. I also noticed more than a few Muslim women in burqas. And it occurred to me. Is cross-dressing not as prevalent when the dress you cross to is less comfortable? I know, lots of women say nylons aren’t comfortable. That’s not what I mean. If clothes were just about comfort we’d all be wearing cotton flannel sacks. I mean comfortable in the sensuous sense—more silky and frilly and foofy. I’ve seen Asian cross dressers and all manner of European cross dressers. I even saw a movie once that featured a Native American cross dresser. But I don’t remember any Arabic transvestites. The word transvestite: “Trans” means “across” and “vest” comes from “vestire” meaning to dress or to clothe—like in vest or vestments if you’re more religious. Although bringing religion into a discussion of cross dressing is perhaps working at cross purposes and will make some people angry not to a say a little, um, miffed. Thought I was gonna say cross didn’t you. Anyhow, you don’t see a lot of Arabic guys hankering to hunker down in a burqa. Which proves their sexism. I figure if you’re forcing someone else to wear what you won’t yourself, well, that can’t be right. So the occasional western male who slips on a pair of pantyhose is actually striking a blow for equal rights. Enough about that.
What I really want to talk about today is initial offering discounts. I get really irritated when I hear an ad for a new company or service that is offering deep discounts to enroll new customers. Then the disclaimer: “Offer open to first time customers only special restrictions apply.” One of my most favorite disclaimer phrases, “special restriction apply.” Sorry sir, you once wore a burqa in Victoria you don’t qualify. So what ever happened to rewarding customer loyalty? “Hello, Mr. Funny Guy this is Qwest, you’ve been such a good customer for 25 years—why, that’s three company names and five branding statements ago in the corporate world—that we want to reward you with a free month of service, just for being a 25-year customer of Qwest-US West-AT&T.” Wouldn’t that be nice? But no, it’s the fickle newbies that get the discount. Like a new employee at the water cooler, brown-nosing the boss and sucking up to all and sundry, the newbie gloms the glory again. Us tried and true stalwarts, standing by through thick and thin, like a Hillary in a pickadillo field, suffer full price through offer after offer after new customer discount offer. Too bad. Cause old customer loyalty is priceless. They’ll shift on you Qwest. When the newer DSL pipes down the block your bandwidth will be playing a different tune. Because statistics show, the new customers are the quickest to cross over.
America, ya gotta love it.