#212 Ape-etite

One of the big dilemmas facing modern culture is that human beings, once they get out of the extreme hunger desert, plunge hip deep into the obesity swamp. Scientists propose various theories to explain this, from genetics to dietetics to diabetics, but the real cause seems to melt away like ice cream in the sun. My personal favorite theory is we’ve got too damn good at cooking. And by cooking I actually include such non-gourmet offerings like quarter-pounders with cheese and Costco chimichungas. Quietly, insidiously, behind the scenes in every industrial kitchen in the world, flavor fuhrers have been perfecting the uber-taste. Not too sweet, not too salty, but a little of both. Throw in a savory over-taste and, voila, you have another addictive food. Yes addictive. Remember that now legendary challenge form the Lays Potato Chip company? “Bet you can’t eat just one.” They knew it would only take one exposure to set your lips quivering with anticipation over the next crunchy, salty, slightly sweet mouthful. But here’s the rub. Or butt rub with essence ala Emeril as it were. Our body has an appetite regulator. You’re supposed to stop eating when you’ve had enough. Hormones are supposed to kick in when you’ve gone over a fine line of satiety and make all subsequent food taste less flavorful. That first bite of cheesecake is great but after four slices, okay, five ...
The problem is our food isn’t straightforward enough anymore. It has all kinds of flavors in it. And while on some genetic level our bodies know they had enough corn when we consume, say, a “Big Grab” of Doritos, it doesn’t know that it’s had enough taco cheese flavor. So we keep eating long past the limit where fat production goes into hyperdrive. The other day I was eating a small bag of baby peeled carrots. I never cease to be amazed at how they train the babies to do this. In any event, after a while I’d had enough. There was almost no chance I’d overeat carrots. Why? Cause after about a bite and a half they started to taste terrible. Or how about mashed potatoes? Boil em up, mash em, don’t wanna eat that much. But garlic and cheese flavored mashed potato buds in a box? My god that stuff is good. It has flavoroids I can taste across the room. I like to consider myself a healthy eater, I don’t use much salt in my cooking and I don’t add sugar to everything I eat. But mashed potato buds in a box or salsa verde flavored Doritos? It’s like an ape with a banana, cause I can’t shut the ol ape-etite off. Why? Because of combined ingredients. Cavemen never added garlic and just a dash of paprika. They ate their food unadulterated and evolved methods of control. Try this experiment next time you go out for ice cream. See how much you can eat of plain vanilla. Then see how much you can eat of vanilla with chocolate syrup and sprinkles and chunks of chocolate and chocolate covered pretzels and caramel and bananas and...
America, ya gotta love it.