#193 Signs of the Season 2

As the 20th Century progressed, it seems that everybody and their brother-in-law got on the “complain about the symbols of Christmas” bandwagon. The PC pagans wanted fewer Christian symbols in the schools, and the Christian Coalition wanted more. Santa Claus was tugged back and forth between the camps like a shotgun at a swap meet. One year he was Old Saint Nick, one year he was Old Man Winter. Cries of “can’t we all just get along” fell on intolerant ears like torture-induced confessions on the ears of the Inquisition. This, our most caring season, a time of family and community and gift-sharing, was being torn apart by the factions of fundamentalism and the fundamentals of factionalism.
Occasionally, a smart Jew would stand up and sing a funny Chanukah song, but even that holiday—or eight holidays—would be confusing, as from calendar to calendar Hanukkah started with either an “H” or a “Ch.”
A long time ago, it was the early seventies I think, I started saying Happy Holidays to everyone. Seasons Greetings sounded a little too archaic, like cards my Grandma had from the twenties. Plus, it was more inclusive. As I worked in retail then, and had no idea whether the customer I was waiting on was Jewish, Hindu, or Christian, it simply made good business sense to offend as few people as possible and yet include as many people as possible in the season’s spirits.
Of course, nowadays that’s not good enough for some Christians. Anything less than a full-on merry Christmas is thought to be a betrayal to the faith. After all, they say, it’s Christmas that’s the day we get off. True, Christmas is the national holiday. Jews don’t get to take off Hanukkah. Hindus don’t get Krishna day. Do they call that Krish-nas? No one gets to stay home on Kwanzaa. And most importantly, all the other faiths don’t have an after-Christmas sale.
But, I still say Happy Holidays. For one reason, like I said, because it’s more inclusive. Why not reach out to as many people as possible. Isn’t the spirit of goodwill what this season is all about? Lord knows this planet has too little compassion as it is. But secondly, because it’s an incredibly economical greeting. I don’t have to write out eight different holidays on my cards. I don’t have to worry who is what. I don’t have to say all the holidays to each and every person, and Thanksgiving and New Years are included in the whole holiday thing so I can start the season early and end it late. Which makes my festive season even longer than that whole month of Ramadan thing. And no fasting.
So even though, considering its pagan origin, calling a Christmas tree a holiday tree is more accurate, I’m okay with whatever. I’m okay with Merry Christmas. I’m okay with Merry X-mas too, and Seasons Greetings and Merry Christmokwanzikah. If you ask me, the most inclusive holiday symbol is the nativity scene. You got your first Christian—the baby Jesus. You got Arabs and Africans as represented by the three wise men. And everybody else there is Jewish. Is this a great symbol of world peace or what? So reach out to everyone with a Happy Holiday greeting and praise the lord that these days we’ve got past that whole “burn the heretic at the stake Spanish inquisition” thing and the term Christian Tolerance is no longer an oxymoron.
America, ya gotta love it.