#173 Screw the Math

I’m not sure corporate America is getting this whole math thing. Maybe the generation of CEOs now were raised on new math. Still, when I was raised on it, the concepts still related to the real world. Now I’m not so sure. Witness the subject of my recent essay, where a company promised something free in exchange for 4.99 in shipping. Now if I were to offer someone something free, it would be without any cost. Free means free, or complimentary, as the ad says. Free does not mean free-plus-shipping. I’m worried that along with our other core American values, we are devaluing the concept of free.
Recently a friend of mine found out he was part of a class action lawsuit against a certain home warehouse type store. As a result of the negotiated settlement, he was to receive five dollars. Seems straightforward enough. Nope. In order to get the five dollars he had to go to the store in question, make a qualified purchase of over fifteen dollars, and then the five dollars would be sent to him in the form of a rebate check. He also had the choice as a consumer to opt out of the settlement and do nothing. Perhaps we’re devaluing the concept of choice too.
What a rip off! As you can see, class action does not necessarily imply class act. All I can say is, this depot of home accouterments has a damn good team of lawyers. Because something is very wrong with this picture. Why should you have to buy something in order to get back what you were overcharged in the first place? The company should just send you a freaking check right out. They had your name. They sent you the card didn’t they? They’ll have to pay more mailing costs when they finally do send you the rebate check. Why should you have to buy something else from a company that, in effect, screwed you, and give them even more of your money in order to get back what they already screwed you out of? That would be like me going to a restaurant, being overcharged on my bill, and instead of them just giving me my money back having them give me a two for one coupon on my next purchase. So, basically, they stole money from me and now in order to get it back, I have to give them even more money to get back the money they stole from me in the first place. Considering they make fifty cents on every dollar I spend and a two-for-one means they break even, they still come out with the money they overcharged me free and clear.
Maybe these people do understand math.
America ya gotta love it.