#145 H-E-Double Whammy

Recently, when Hurricane Katrina cut is path of destruction across the South, one of the areas most affected was the Bi-lux-i area of Mississippi. I learned a few things. I learned that Biloxi was pronounced Bi-lux-I and not Bi-lox-i. And I relearned that to locals Louisiana is Looziana.
I also learned that a huge part of the economy of the fair state of Mississippi is Casinos. And that those casinos are on barges. I’m sure you all remember scenes of giant building-size barges swept up on shore. They were so complete, at first you thought they were on a foundation in the parking lots where they ended up. Then you realized they were on a barge.
Naturally, being from the casinos-strewn-all-over-the-place Northwest, I wondered why all the casinos in Mississip’ had to be floaters. Turns out some arcane law had an even more obscure loophole. The way I understand it, and don’t sue me if I’m wrong here, the law allows gambling, but only if it’s not on the land of Mississippi. It has to be in the water, a la riverboat gambling. Rather than change the law, something difficult to do in the heartland of the Christian Coalition, the cynical legislators of said god-fearing country expanded the concept of riverboat to include giant football stadium-sized buildings floating on barges, slightly off shore—connected only by concrete footpaths, paved bridges and whatnot. The pseudo-sanctity of the land of Mississippi was preserved and, more importantly, the economy of said land was enriched by the heathen lucre-worshipping water people.
Word now from Mississippi is that new casinos will be built. This time, gosh darnit, on land. Maybe even not on the hurricane-prone coast. Turns out the state economy is more important than legal hypocrisy. It’s about time. I mean who were they trying to kid? Gigantic Barges for pete’s sake. Yoo Hoo! It was still gambling. It’s either a sin or it isn’t. I don’t think God was fooled by that whole water thing. The Ten Commandments aren’t waived just cause you’re SCUBA diving.
Reminds me of this devout Mormon fellow I used to work with. Whenever he was angry he’d say: “Oh, H-E-Double toothpicks!” I said to him Don, you think god isn’t sharp enough to get what you mean?” Let’s see, all-knowing, all-powerful, ruler of the universe. I can hear the lord now: “There he goes again with that that double toothpick thing, I wonder what he’s talking about?”
America, ya gotta love it.