Monday, March 01, 2010

#1195 Randomizer

Sometimes my brain whirls around like some sort of bingo cage randomizer. A maelstrom of confusion until out pops a vagrant thought about this that or the other thing. Watch out for those other things.
Like the other day. I’m driving by this convenience store and they have a sign on it promoting a free-throw giveaway. But they have the word free-throw written as two words, free and throw. And my very first thought was they were giving away something like an afghan. A furniture accessory thingy that’s also called a throw.
This would have made a lot more sense if the store I was driving by was Bed Bath and Beyond. But it was a convenience store, known for selling Bud Light and Monster energy drinks. So do I have the secret subconscious soul of an interior decorator?
Maybe I should sign up at the community college for the mysterious martial art of feng shui.
Speaking of odd oriental things, I overheard a conversation between a couple of new-agers the other day and one of them was talking about having her chakras aligned. Can they do that? Is there a special therapist for it? Kind of like a chiropractor for your chakras. A chakra-practor perhaps?
And speaking of different paths to wisdom, I overheard another conversation between two apocalypsters about the Mayan calendar’s prediction of the end of the world in 2012. And I had to wonder about a couple of things.
One, if the Mayans were so smart, how come their civilization expired about 500 years ago? And B, the Romans, arguably a world conquering civilization with a lot of bright mathematicians and stuff, had some trouble with the Julian calendar. And one reason was our stupid year has 365 and 1/4 days plus a second or two.
So did the Mayans account for leap years? If not, we may have till about 2013. Good, maybe the housing market will bounce back by then and I can get out from underwater on my mortgage.
It’s awfully hard decorating a house that’s underwater during an apocalypse. Talk about a random pain in the chakra...
America, ya gotta love it.

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