Wednesday, February 25, 2009

#954 Word Stylin’

I like words. Words can become our friends. Sometimes they become so familiar we develop verbal habits. For writers, those habits can be a component of what forensic analysts call style.
It’s hard, for this reason, for an author to effectively write pseudonymously. His verbal tics keep flushing him out. I use the transition “in any event” a lot. In short essays, we sometimes need a transition that will dismiss the earlier subject and move on to the next.
In any event, are you the type of person who says “conversely” or on the other hand are you the type of person who says “on the other hand.” Conversely, maybe you’re the type of person who says “on the contrary.”
One of my favorite authors never says “because.” Not “Joe went to the store because he desired something.” He will write, “Joe went to the store on account of his desire for something.”
Choosing the exact word or phrase to convey a feeling is sometimes difficult, sometimes it’s a slam dunk. Notice I didn’t say base hit. Nor field goal. Of all the sports references “slam dunk” said what I wanted to say best.
People sometimes say, “it’s a dry heat.” Do they say, “it’s a wet cold”? No, but there’s an even better way. They can say it’s dank. Dank conjures up a wet, shivery cold perfectly. A dank dungeon on a dark dreary day.
Then there’s the question of food portion descriptions. Beef loins and pork butts are entirely too graphic for my tastes. Strips or nuggets are better. Perhaps because they sound mildly pornographic. Yum, chicken breast strips.
Balls or logs are problematic. Which would you prefer? A nut ball or a nut log?
Cheese balls just don’t sound that appetizing, or hygienic for that matter.
Cheese logs sound like an exceptionally unreliable building material, possibly used in the story of the four little pigs and the big bad wolf—brick, sticks, straw, and cheese logs.
Conversely, or in any event, when I had teenagers, cheese logs would have made it easier for them to eat me out of house and home.
America, ya gotta love it.

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