#753 Interfearence

So, okay, I’m full of fear.
Fear of the interference of radio waves in our lives. Well, radar waves anyhow.
Here’s what got my paranoia bubbling like a bowl of chili in a microwave. Have you ever plopped a glop of chili out of a can like dog food? You know, you cut the top out of a can, then flip it over and start opening the can’s bottom. After a little while, air gets in and the whole mass glops into a bowl. Whole.
So you’ve got this can-shaped mass of meat-like stuff. It’s roughly the consistency of a brain. Now, just for giggles, put that in a microwave and see how many seconds it takes to bubble, melt, or explode. Got the image?
Okay, back to my paranoia. I called my son on my cordless phone the other day. As I’m sure you know, cordless phones work with short distance radio waves. The phone sends and receives signals to and from the base unit.
While I was talking, I put some cold pizza on a plate, took it over to the microwave oven and fired it up. Suddenly my ear was filled with static. The interference was so bad, my son couldn’t understand me. I immediately deduced that my supposedly shielded microwave was sending out radar beams into my phone.
So I walked away. And away. And away. Eventually I was able to talk without interference. 40 feet away from my microwave.
Forty feet before I was free from the interference.
Back to the can-shaped mass of chili in the microwave. Obviously, it doesn’t bubble outside the closed door. But still. Brain cells are pretty small and fragile.
Come to think of it, your reproductive cells are fragile too.
So I’m just saying. Even if you don’t have a pacemaker, you might want to think about strolling forty feet away next time you nuke some popcorn.
Unless you’re completely happy with the number and quality of your children...
Then again, the damage is probably done at this point.
Maybe I should let my microwave-induced Alzheimer’s take over and forget all about it.
America, ya gotta love it.