Tuesday, September 04, 2007

#594 Grand Prius

A great woman once said: For every Hummer, the good Lord put a Prius on earth.
A strange modern religious sentiment, but I kind of get it. Nature seeks a balance.
As I’ve indicated before, I’m always uncomfortable just saying the word Prius. It reminds me too much of that other word that refers to the Greek god of procreation and all phalluses generally—Priapus.
And then there’s the medical disorder—Priapism. It’s the real thing Viagra is marketing to you, excuse me, warning you about, when they caution against it lasting longer than 4 hours.
But things are getting harder now.
Because there is more than one Hummer and so, more than one Prius. And it’s created the plural question.
Like the other day when I came to a stop behind a blue Prius. He, in turn, was stopped behind another blue Prius.
Prius blue, by the way, is that new blue all the car companies are suddenly adopting. Kind of somewhere between midnight blue and robin egg blue.
Prius calls it “seaside pearl” and has it available with two interior color choices, dark grey or bisque. I’m not sure about the seaside pearl. Do they mean pearls found along the seaside are blue or this is a blue reminiscent of the blue of the sea at seaside with pearl translucency? I have no idea.
I’m more worried about my interior being the color of bisque. Isn’t that some kind of hoity-toity soup?
Still, considering bisque is a soup made from pureed crustaceans, the seaside theme remains intact for this particular color option package.
Let’s just hope that “new car” aroma doesn’t smell like someone left a case of crabs in the back seat.
If car companies were smart they’d make all new car interiors the color of lattes or mocha, maybe even machiatos—at least around the cup tippers.
I mean cupholders.
So, okay, driving a Prius invokes that Freudian thing psychologists are always talking about with Americans and their cars.
But seeing more than one Prius conjures up a more basic predicament: What is the plural of Prius?
Is it Pri-I, like octopi? Or it Prius-es—like Lexus-es?
Um...
I know. How about Toyota Hybrids?
America, ya gotta love it

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