Tuesday, September 04, 2007

#590 Good Old People

Sometimes here in the good old USA we’re conflicted about old stuff, or maybe it’s just people.
The other day I saw this great old car from the forties. It was kind of boxy and looked like the cars they chopped in the fifties into roadsters. I was amazed by how this car looked almost exactly like a slightly bigger version of the P.T. Cruiser.
Definitely what I would call a P.T. Cruiser pre-cursor.
Nothing funny here. I just wanted the opportunity to say P.T. Cruiser pre-cursor.
It’s interesting how we keep our old cars around but not our old people. Out of sight out of mind. Assisted care facilities are a growth industry second only to tattoo removal in today’s American cultural landscape.
And old folks are being either minimally cared for in charitable facilities or literally pampered in posh condominium, resort-style assisted living retreats.
How are they Pampered? Depends...
The disparity is amazing and it’s left the yuppie social climbers in something of a dilemma. They are already strapped with larger-than-they-should-have-bought house bills. There’s that virtual mortgage on their new 45,000-dollar auto. Then there are the three revolving credit cards they keep revolving with each other to gradually try to payoff the back interest, their new flat panel TVs, and support their daily latté bill.
So they’ve resorted to sequestering their parents in new and cheap care facilities in, you guessed it, India.
That’s right, India.
They’re outsourcing their parents.
Indian care facilities are about a tenth the cost of domestic. And so they’ve shipped their doddering but still demanding old folks overseas to live out their remaining years in relative comfort.
“Hi Ma, how’s it going? No, sorry, I can’t visit, it’s, you know, eleven thousand miles.”
“I know sonny, I still hope... The breakfast curry was a little warm today—but that constipation problem’s cleared up. I just wish they didn’t let all those cows wander through the halls...”
“Cows, funny. (the old girl’s really losing it now) Well, gotta go Mom. I’m entering my P.T. Cruiser in the classic car show and I only have three hours to hand-wax it.”
America ya gotta love it

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