2005 Bugserroni

     There's no doubt we're inefficient in how we produce our food. Vegetarians have been pointing out for years about the extra energy wasted when we employ cows and pigs as middlemen on the caloric way from plant to human. Not to mention water and global warming fuel usage.
     But we love our protein. And there's certainly science to indicate that being a vegetarian doesn't provide all our essential protein and amino acid needs.
     So what's an omnivore to do?
     That same problem has been bugging the UN Food and Agriculture Organization and they have the answer. Bugs.
     Yep, bugs. As they said in a recent press release, "Insects are a highly nutritious and healthy food source with high fat, protein, vitamin, fiber, and mineral content." Not only that, cultivating bugs requires far fewer resources than cattle, chickens, or fish. They're 12 times more efficient at converting nutrients into meat than cows are.
     Some 1900 species are already consumed in countries other than the west. Beetles, caterpillars, ants. Full adult bugs, and their nymphs and larvae. Hey, maybe that's a fine solution to the cicada problem on the east coast. It's the 17 year feast!
     The trick, of course, is getting past the icky factor. And the taste thing. It's no surprise when emerging third world countries westernize, that folks flock to McDonalds, and leave their bugs back at the hovel. And there ain't a Cricket McNugget on the menu, or a Quarter Pounder with Fleas.
     But that's where modern food science and processing techniques can make a difference. And the place to start is sausage. Already loaded with artificial flavors. The first thing you do is dig up a bunch of buggy stuff from the soil. Grind up a few grubworms, process, and voila! A fine smoked larvae sausage.
     Hot diggety dog!
     America, ya gotta love it.