2004 Tissue Issue

     Read an interesting story recently. In the news media of all places. Which, as we've been reminded to believe, is always suspect.
     Ripped from the head lines, this story comes from Venezuela, where they're apparently suffering an acute toilet paper shortage. Because of this "urgent crisis" said Ollie John in Times.com, the government has been forced "to order 50 million rolls to appease desperate shoppers."
     Putting aside for the moment that some news editor thought it would be funny to assign a toilet paper story to a reporter named Ollie John, I think we should issue this notice to the Venezuelan government: You know things are going in the toilet when shoppers start hoarding toilet paper.
     The government, in turn, is trying to wipe out any responsibility for the crisis. Such as unreal price controls introduced by now deceased Hugo Chavez, or being in arrears on international payments. As a result, the nation's scarcity index shows 21 of 100 basic staples are not available in stores. Toilet paper became a staple not long after corn cobs fell out of favor for sensitive reasons.
     Current Venezuelan leaders have blamed "anti-government forces" for the TP shortage, and swiped at the media, calling them issuers of a tissue of lies, and perpetrators of panic "creating excessive demand in order to disrupt the country."
     Funny how an extremely left wing country blamed the media for its ills. Isn't the media supposedly left wing?
     So...if I were a newspaper publisher in Venezuela couldn't this whole campaign backfire? If people once used old Sears catalogues for their wipage needs, wouldn't newspapers work even better? I'm surprised the Venezuelan government propaganda machine hasn't suggested it.
     And when they say the media is creating excessive demand for toilet paper, do they really mean the media is full of…well, you know.
     America, ya gotta love it.