1909 Electronic Eye

My friend Kris and I were talking about electronic things recently. When he was done teasing me about my classic flip-phone---okay, he used a different descriptive word than “classic”---we discussed whether I was going to join the smartphone fad anytime soon.
"I'm just not ready," I whined. As with all things technological, it's when to jump in. If you buy it too early you pay too much and the bugs antiquate it too soon. If you buy too late, you miss out on the social learning curve. I watch people swiping and gesturing on their phones and it totally mystifies me.
My current dilemma is between a phone and a phablet. Because I have another old-fashioned notion. I want to be able to put my phone in my pocket. All my modern friends carry around their phones, phablets, and tablets like a stack of books. Puts the lie to that hands-free thing hanging from their ears.
Kris said they were coming out with a smartphone for your wrist soon. But if I was such a wimp about waiting, something even smaller was bound to come along.
I think I will. I was one of the few folks that had a wristwatch with a little calculator on it back in the late seventies. It somehow enhanced the silliness of my perm. Maybe that's why I swore off early adopting.
I think I'll wait until smartphones are small enough to implant in my eye. I'm due for cataract surgery in another decade. The two needs for a new lens should just about sync up.
And then I'd have a real Eye-Phone.
Let the record show Kris warned me, though. I'll be blinking furiously to interact with the device and some irate woman will be offended.
"Were you winking at me?"
"No... I was just, uh... texting..."
America, ya gotta love it.