1838 Animalsity

Life is such a menagerie. I was driving down the road the other day, nursing a massive headache, and found myself behind a slow-moving car. We were both approaching an intersection and the light was turning yellow. There was plenty of time to turn left, both for the person in front of me and me.
I was in a hurry, so catching this light would have been nice. The person in front of me chose instead to chicken out and stop.
As I applied acute positive pressure to my steering wheel in the form of a vigorous fist pound I chanced to glance at the lady's bumper, upon which was affixed a small banner with a slogan.
It said, "Live Like a Lion."
The yellow shards of irony cramped my braincells, increasing my headache. I couldn't help but grimace like a tasered hyena.
The light changed to green. I briefly hoped the lion ahead of me would now at least engage in a jackrabbit start to compensate for her formerly sheepish yellow light timidity. I was wrong in that bull-headed expectation. As a good friend of mine often reminds me, expectations are pre-meditated resentments.
Lion lady proceeded to move through the intersection with the ponderousness of a three-toed sloth. Traffic being what it was, I had no opportunity to snake around her for the next three lights. At each of which she slowed prematurely and started out again sluggishly.
Maybe her bumper sticker was from the Lions Club and she was just championing the philanthropic ideals it promotes. Somehow I don't think so.
She had probably gone to a Live Like a Lion seminar and put the sticker on her car to help her overcome her natural mousiness.
My headache just made me want to be lion down.
America, ya gotta love it.