1522 Fishgate

I was in a buffet line the other day, and glancing ahead, remarked that the meat dish being served was most likely MOMO. "MOMO?" said the person next to me in line, "What's that?"
"Meat Of Mysterious Origin," I replied.
And indeed, the cutlet is question could easily have been chicken, pork, or veal. Just part of the nationwide dilemma faced by carnivores. With today's expert Photoshop-like culinary skills, it's tough to tell from whence a meat originates.
We've always had that problem with sausage. As I mentioned in an earlier essay, today's pepperoni contains not one, but three animal parts, chicken, beef, and pork—four if you count an occasional clumsy rat.
The truth is you can never be sure what you're getting when you ask for a wiener. Sausages they say, like laws in congress, are not pleasant to watch in the making. As recent news confirms, congress and wieners have a long history of appalling the public.
Now it's even worse. Because lately there's been a rash of fish imitations as well. We all know breaded fishsticks are made of indeterminate bottom fish. Gordon of Gloucester cast a wider and more inclusive net than the Democratic Party.
Although, come to think of it, he never pulled in any Weiners.
DNA tests on raw fish at U.S. Supermarkets revealed that 25% of regular fish and up to 70% of desirable species like red snapper, Atlantic cod, and wild salmon are not what they are labeled as. Counterfeit red snapper, what's wrong with people? The study showed that cheaper cuts like thresher shark and Vietnamese catfish were routinely passed off as more expensive fillets.
Such is the brave new world of the 21st Century. Weiners and acts of congress. And catfish posing as red snapper.
Suddenly everything smells fishy.
America, ya gotta love it.