1515 Muffin Downer

Not long ago I had the pleasure of sponsoring a hole at a local golf tournament. As the event began rather early in the morning, the sponsors offered up snacks for breakfast. I had to hurry to my hole so I just grabbed a cup of coffee and a conveniently-packaged muffin.
I could have grabbed a conveniently-packaged cinnamon roll, but grabbed the muffin out of some atavistic sense that muffins are healthier than cinnamon rolls. Like bagels are healthier than donuts, or gorgonzola encrusted pasta is healthier than mac-and-cheese.
I confess, part of the reason I took the muffin was its name. Otis Spunkmeyer. And I'm not sure why. There doesn't seem to be anything that sounds less appetizing in the way of a breakfast treat than Otis Spunkmeyer. Otis is Latin for things of the ear, and spunk is often associated with energy, but also sounds like gunk, that gooey stuff in the ear. And Meyer, well, when it comes to food, Meyer always conjures up images of Oscar Meyer wieners.
Let's all have a hot dog muffin with earwax on it.
Yum.
I should have listened to my instinct. Because there was another reason I shouldn't eat the muffin. It was practically all sugar. It was the first ingredient on the package nutrition list. Sorry, baked goods should have flour first, not sugar. That's candy..
I quickly looked at the calories. Not bad—only 220. About right for the size of the muffin, 3 inches in diameter and 2 inches thick. Wrong. Is was 220 per serving. And the tiny muffin was, guess what, 2 servings.
Do you know the muffin man? He's moved from England's Drury Lane. He now lives on America's Obesity Highway. And he's found the recipe for success.
Sugar makes you spunky!
America, ya gotta love it.