1505 Fish Fry Day

It was one of those good news bad news sorts of things. Or maybe bad news good news. Turns out if you want to help your heart you could be screwing up your prostate, and vice versa.
It all comes down to fat. Good fat bad fat. Or maybe bad fat good fat. The maybe good fat, Omega-3s, that are supposed to promote heart health with their good fatty acids, do in fact do so. Omega-3s from salmon and other fish provide significant heart benefits.
But , uh-oh, those men who have high omega-3 blood levels were recently shown to be more than twice as likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer.
And here's the amazing thing. Men who ate bad fat, in trans-fatty French fries and other processed foods, reduced their risk by 50%.
Which actually makes a kind of sense. High testosterone levels have been known to cause prostate issues. And certain fats are precursors to testosterone production.
Easy fix: for every fish we need a French fry. Fish and chips will save us all.
Either that, or the salmon industry will be reeling. First overfishing, then fears of mercury poisoning, and now aggressive prostate cancer. What's a self-respecting Chinook hooker to do?
Talk about the horns of a dilemma. Having to choose between your heart health and your sex health with every bite you take? That's got to screw up the dating process. Not to mention dining alone.
Will you be having the kidney pie or the fish sir?
Well let's see. Is it Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, or Monday, Wednesday, Friday?
That's another solution, hedge your bets. And if you work it out so it ends up you have fish on Friday it’s like placing a spiritual bet too.
Just in case you're wrong...
America, ya gotta love it.