1460 Sniffy

Dogs are amazing. And as more and more information comes out about their incredible sense of smell, we can really see how great it was they first became our companions.
Sure they have annoying habits with those sniffers. Sticking their noses where it’s not so polite in mixed company. Poking their proboscis in one another’s backsides.
But hey, dogs will be dogs. That same snout can sniff out bombs and illegal contraband of all sorts. From marijuana to illegal iguanas, a smuggler knows to avoid the nose of a trained canine snooper.
Well, be prepared to enjoy another great trait. Turns out medical researchers in Japan are reporting that a trained dog sniffing human stool can detect colorectal cancer about as well as a colonoscopy.
Totally tubular, dude. Man’s best friend and then some. They already can detect some types of diseases from smelling sweat and urine. Now they can be used as a tool for your stool.
And now we can totally incentivize the lines at the airport. Forget about full body scanners. Have a line of dog detectors. You put up with some invasive body sniffing and they’ll not just check you for explosives, they’ll work in a colorectal scan at the same time.
I know lots of guys who would put up with just about anything to avoid a colonoscopy. If you could have a snoop-doggy-dogscopy instead, you’d get some serious business.
No more violent laxatives, no more tube snaking up your nether regions, no more post-colonoscopy communal gas-passing concert room.
Just hiring a dog to do what he does with his fellow dogs and you anyhow. Sniffing backside.
“Here Sniffy. Here boy. What’s that? Timmy’s in the well? And he’s got polyps?”
America, ya gotta love it.