1414 Tearosterone

It was the big story of the news cycle. “Tears Turn Off Men.” All the major papers ran with it. It was on the weeper segment of the morning talk shows. Late night comedians tore into it.
The story was about an interesting scientific study. Tears were collected from women. They were clear. They were supposedly odorless. At least no man could consciously detect the odor. And when men inhaled the non-odor from the tears, their biological indicators, pulse, heart rate, and testosterone levels, as well as conscious reporting, all indicated they had reduced desire for intimacy and intercourse.
Tears turn off men. Even if you just inhale in their proximity. The scientists were quick to point out that nothing visual was involved. The men didn’t know the teary women. They did not see the teary women. They were not told what the liquid was.
A secret substance in tears suppresses desire. A Niagra of tears from a woman’s eyes is an anti-Viagra. Some chemical messenger perceived by our olfactory systems. We can’t smell it but our smell organs detect it.
Some pheromone perhaps. Anti-testosterone.
Tear-o-sterone? Or just tear-o-mone?
Non-aroma therapy for the woman who just wants to be left alone.
The scientists cautioned that this set of tears may contain different chemicals than others. These tears were gathered from women watching sad movies. Other tears, tears of joy perhaps, or tears sustained from a paper cut, may actually cause arousal.
Or maybe there’s a combo reaction—when the tears from the paper cut are kissed away, the guy may get more intimate.
I think the clue is in the origin. Tears from a sad movie? Definite turn off. This scientific study has provided proof positive that men and chick-flicks don’t mix.
America, ya gotta love it.