1407 Happiness Control

The Holidays are finally over and with them the associated eating frenzy. What they’ve largely left behind are larger behinds.
I received a bunch of goodies from the Harry and David Company this year. They make tasty fruit and candy conglomerations.
They’ve made some changes over the years. They used to just ship exquisitely good fresh fruit. But somewhere in the last decade they apparently got a new-wave marketing guru. How else to explain this little card that appeared in my gift package.
It said, “You’re going to love this gift! I promise!”
Quite a promise, I’m sure you’ll agree. I don’t know why I’m always a little annoyed when people tell me how I’m going to feel. Call me a curmudgeon, but I like to reserve that judgment for myself.
Promises are fine, and promises of quality even better—“If you don’t love this gift return it for a full refund.” But telling me that I’m going to love this gift—I don’t think so.
I’m already in the mood to find fault. Especially when I’m in a sugar-crash post-Christmas cranky.
Still, the stuff really is good, despite the promise of the person who included the notecard. You’ll never guess what her name was.
Yep, Tiffany.
A person named “Tiffany” told me I was going to love this gift. And how does Tiffany know, in case I want to know? What position does Tiffany have in the larger chain of command that is Harry and David?
Well, according to her card, Tiffany is the “Happiness Assurance Team Leader.” Apparently the marketing guru didn’t like the term “Quality Control.”
Hope Tiffany doesn’t apply for employment at my place. You’re gonna love not getting a job from me because you’ve got “Happiness Assurance Team Leader” on your resume!
America, ya gotta love it.