1411 Boxer Brief

Of all the items ballyhooed during the last Christmas season there was one that really got my panties in a knot. It was proclaimed as the answer to a long running conundrum. The perfect stocking stuffer for the person whose preference you know nothing about.
The question of why you were buying him intimate wear at all if you knew the particular recipient so little was not asked.
The answer and the product was the “boxer-brief.” If you don’t know what he prefers, get him an item that’s both. Great. Sounds like a gift guaranteed for the return pile. BVD BTW, Boxer-briefs are not only bad as a first gift, they’re extremely annoying as a re-gift.
Because, for one reason, most guys do have a preference. They wear briefs if they like the feeling of support, boxers if they prefer more, well... Let’s just say boxers can be compared to the political movement for Australian Independence. They both lead to more freedom down under.
The first thing most guys think when they hear of boxer-briefs is, decide darn it. Commit to one or the other. Boxer-briefs don’t feel like either. They’re too clingy for boxer lovers, and feel like old briefs to brief wearers—you know, when a pair of tightie-whities turns to baggie-saggies.
Not only that, they don’t even have a good name. When women had their version of a tweener garment, the skirt that’s also shorts, what did they name it? That’s right, the skort.
But “boxer-brief”? That’s like calling an SUV a car-truck. It sounds not only ambivalent, but indecisive. The wishywash-and-wear alternative. Like someone suffering from duo-underpantualism.
So…name suggestions? How about Box-iefs? No, sounds too French.
I got it, Broxers. Now that sounds like a pair of downunderwear.
America, ya gotta love it.