#1168 Rats, Wasps, and Cars

In my last essay, I wrote about how we always seem to call people representing our worst traits “rats.” Interesting, since rats are not only intelligent, they're adaptable, persistent and family oriented.
And bonus, they share so many other human traits, they make good lab animals.
In any event, my friend Rick, who gets me into trouble with people who expertly pilot small Italian motorcycles, suggested after I had used the word “ratfink” that perhaps there should be a Chinese “Year of the Ratfink.” He then went on to tell me that this is the Year of the Tiger, which means we can all get multiple mistresses.
Tiger...talk about a rat.
His mentioning things Chinese got me to rooting around my desk for a fortune I acquired in one of those clairvoyant cookies the other day. My cookie had rendered up the psychic prediction that “Someone will give me a compliment”. Obviously they haven’t read the comments on my blog from certain expert and extremely brave and intelligent Italian motorcycle riders.
But doesn’t it seem like fortune cookie fortunes are playing it mighty safe lately? They’re so, well, white bread. One I got the other day said, “Don’t give up, your problem gets better next month.”
They obviously haven’t seen my hairline.
Or this other one was good. It said, “You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.” I’m guessing they’re predicting my next trip to the teriyaki place, where I will get another of these cookies and it will contain a, yep, fortune.
Maybe it will say something even more accurate like, “You’ll be hungry again in an hour.” Or, “You are about to having a splitting MSG-induced headache.”
And by the way, I am really impressed with automobiles that come from our Asian trading partners. (Not as impressed as I am with Italian motorcycles of course.)
But what was Hyundai thinking with naming two vehicle models after two rival southwest cities—The Santa Fe and The Tucson.
Which model is better? Which is more luxurious and offers more amenities?
The Chamber of Commerce in one of those cities has got to be angrier than a wasp stinging a rat...
America, ya gotta love it.