#1161 100% Adult Proof

The other day I was having a very hard time doing something some would consider simple. That’s not unusual for me. I, like most Americans, carry suspect genes.
We're a weird populace, and I constantly have to remind myself to be tolerant. Because, after all, we are descended from people who even the people in Eastern Europe didn’t want. Or like me, also descended from a group of paranoid, impulsive people who couldn’t even manage to grow potatoes.
So it’s no surprise I was having problems. But there was also another nefarious plot at hand. The systematic marginalization of the old when it comes to music.
My problem stemmed from my inability to open the wrapping on a CD case. You wonder why old folks don’t keep up on current music? CD cases are why.
It’s not just CDs of course, MP3 players are bad too. But with them it’s because the buttons are so tiny and the digital display is so miniscule. Who can read which Johnny Mathis hit is on the readout? Or which Engelbert Humperdinck ballad is on the playlist?
But as an old folk you get used to vision issues. It’s the small motor skills that are truly frustrating. And CD cases challenge them to the max.
First, you have the outer cellophane sleeve. It has an actual tiny tab you can grasp, if you can see it, and if you can overcome your arthritis long enough to pinch it. One tug and the cellophane comes off.
In principle.
In fact, much follow-up ripping is involved. But after that, it’s worse. Then you have to contend with the adhesive strip on the top. It too has a tab you are supposed to be able to lift and pull to remove the strip.
I recently bought five CDs. Not one strip came off in a continuous pull. I was left with bleeding fingernails from all the scraping and scratching. The industry calls it anti-theft technology.
I call it “adult proof packaging.”
I can’t read the writing on the wall. Now I can’t hear for whom the bell tolls. But I’m pretty sure the young people are out to get us.
America, ya gotta love it.