#1036 Pool Lute-ing

My challenge: Take two entirely separate short stories and tie them together in one essay.
The first story: In Verona, Italy, it seems there’s a certain balcony that has developed a reputation as the balcony from which the beautiful Juliet pined for her Romeo. A 13th Century mansion of the Cappello family, believed to be the inspiration for Shakespeare’s Capulet family, has long been a lover’s destination.
Now the Verona town council is allowing people to use the balcony for wedding ceremonies. One guy said, “We are doing this because we hope it will bring us good luck.”
Um. Considering what happened to the original couple, I might give that a second thought. Romeo and Juliet’s love flame burned out fairly quickly, what with the mutual suicide and all. Really, a flash in the pan as these things go.
They never made it to the put on 20 pounds and schlep around in ratty underwear stage.
It’s like the Honda Odyssey. Sounds like a great name for a car but really, the odyssey wasn’t a very pleasant trip for Odysseus, also known as Ulysses—filled with monsters and whirlpools and other dangerous stuff in the water.
Story two: Speaking of dangerous stuff in the water. As the Romeo balcony illustrates, sometimes people don’t think it through, but you know that if you can imagine it someone is already doing it.
In this case, in the pool. Forget about Romeo playing the lute as inspiration, crasser people are pol-lute-ing the pool with urination. A new study shows 20% of people admit to peeing in the pool.
There’s a water hazard even Ulysses didn’t have to face. Especially with his face underwater.
There’s other bad stuff too. Babies in soiled diapers, people who have just worked out and haven’t showered off their sweat, sick children shedding viruses, bacteria-laced phlegm. Chlorine can only do so much.
I always laughed at people who wore nose plugs, earplugs and goggles. Now I see the point.
Swimming in a pool can kill you as quickly as dropping off a balcony in Verona.
America, ya gotta love it.