#1031 Ex-Tradition

The other day I was sitting through a presentation at lunchtime, trying not to nod off with postprandial torpor. And as the presentation morphed painfully into what can only be described as a lecture, I reflected to myself that when I was in school, I had vowed never again to be subjected to this type of torture.
To be incarcerated in a polite prison of social expectation, when all I really wanted was to run free in a field of butterflies. My daydream shattered when I realized the field was filled with grass pollen and I was about to have an allergy attack.
Things change so quickly.
In any event, one of the great phrases I took from the presentation was an observation by the speaker. He was referring to the mix of students on his college campus and instead of saying he had a lot of older students, he said he had a lot of “non-traditionally aged” students. I kid you not, academic bureau-speak at its best. Non-traditionally aged.
But it’s so cool. I am not old anymore. I am non-traditionally aged. I’m not the negatively toned “youth-challenged.” I am not even the falsely upbeat “age-enhanced.” I am the carefully neutral “non-traditionally aged.”
But careful. It could be a slippery term. A baby in an assisted care facility is a non-traditionally aged occupant. A teenager in a daycare is non-traditionally aged.
Still, it works well to describe older people in younger people settings.
“Dude, your non-traditionally aged mom sure looked funny stage-diving.”
“Yeah, she’s having a very traditional mid-life crisis.”
New ways to call things to make them seem more positive are always odd. I heard a commercial the other day that talked about STI’s as opposed to STD’s. STI, I believe, means “sexually transmitted infection.” STD is the more traditional “sexually transmitted disease.” I suppose calling it STI takes away the negative implications of a disease and offers the potentially curable aspects of an infection. So people will seek out treatment.
To me it sounds like a sportier version of a car.
Like a candy-apple red convertible Ford Taurus STI.
For the non-traditionally aged driver.
America, ya gotta love it.