#1021 Vitamin Y

I’ve joked before about the changes brought about by post-middle age. You can learn a lot about what’s ahead at your health club. It’s easy to tell the mean age of a group of guys in the locker room.
A sure sign of pre-seniors is the discussion doesn’t center around sex so much as fiber.
Viagra briefly changed all that, but most of the guys went off that binge relatively quickly. Perhaps it was the light-headedness. Perhaps it was the hassle. Sex interfered with their golf.
Perhaps it was the other aches and pains they developed from too much exercise in that area. There’s no machine in the health club that isolates the pelvic muscle group. And throwing out a hip is no fun. Especially if it’s artificial to start with.
There’s this old guy in the locker room that got a new hip joint and now boasts to all his cronies he has an excuse to do everything half-assed.
This other guy felt like he was getting no effect from Viagra so why fork out the money. He was worried that his Viagra might be negatively interacting with his Lipitor. “Lipitor,” he said, “was supposed to eliminate the hardening of my arteries and...” then our looks of rapt curiosity made him trail off in his explanation.
Which is another subject of discussion. Do you want things that boost your testosterone, increase your sex drive and help you burn fat and lose weight? Or do you want to avoid testosterone precursors because too much testosterone causes hair loss and prostate enlargement?
The other big question seems to be, at what point are you supposed to get Men’s Formula One-a-Day vitamins or Senior Formula One-a-Day vitamins?
You also hear a lot of talk about various vitamin and mineral supplements. Most of the old guys could care less about creatine, it’s hard enough to move around, being muscle bound would make things worse. No, these guys would much rather discuss the relative merits of glucosamine. These ageing children of the sixties have gone from smoking joints to swollen joints.
The only drug they want is Ben-Gay.
America, ya gotta love it.