#898 Spellching

I think spell-check is ruining our ability to communicate. I have suddenly been assaulted with circulars announcing events that are riddled with riddles of what the heck these people meant.
Take bazaars. B-a-z-a-a-r-s are the type you put on for a bake sale, or bring out your crafts and stuff. Sometimes they are odd crafts. Sometimes they are so odd you could call them bizarre.
B-i-z-a-r-r-e.
But if you screw up the spelling of one or the other, spell-check may recommend only one. And insist on it. You are none the wiser.
I got a circular for a “bizarre” (as in crazy) the other day, knew it was wrong and couldn’t for the life of me get spell-check to suggest the right spelling. I was reduced to thumbing through the “B” section in an actual printed dictionary.
I had forgotten how heavy and cumbersome they are. You could get some serious exercise and calorie-burning hefting around a dictionary at your desk.
That darn spell-check is making us all obese too.
The other words that are often a problem are the palate family. Palate of the mouth, palette of the painters, and pallet of the loading dock. All homophones, because they sound the same, but are different in spelling and meaning.
And if you spell it right but wrong the first time, spell-check won’t correct you. So I got a flier for a musical performance describing this conductor being like a painter and his musicians his palette, but they spelled it “palate” so it sounded like he was tasting or chewing them.
Another description in an auction list was supposed to say a “wine and cheese tasting experience guaranteed to satisfy your palate” but they spelled it palette p-a-l-e-t-t-e, so I immediately thought they’d be painting the walls with delicate tones of merlot and gouda.
Then there’s the sign I saw at a shipping place offering free pallets. You know, those slatted wooden things they stack stuff on. Except they spelled it “palate” as in the part of your mouth.
Sounded like a great deal on some obscure variety meat from the deli, like tongue or sweetbreads.
Very unpalatable if you ask me.
America, ya gotta love it.