#890 Elboil

I was pretty gullible as a kid. Heck I’m gullible now. And it’s my take-it-at-face-value initial impression that often makes it possible for me to be humorous. Or at least be laughed at.
Because I often see things the wrong way the first time. Years ago, I made fun of a sign over a car repair place advertising they had a certain car accessory. It said, “Gas Shocks!” My first thought really was, “Especially in mixed company!”
I saw it the “gas-as-flatulence” way before I saw it as the “gas-as-part-of-a-car-accessory” way.
Likewise, when I was growing up, my mother managed to confuse me a lot due to my innocent stupidity. She once told me there was no way I could get things "really clean" unless I applied a lot of elbow grease.
I was young and full of misguided impressions of the world. I had seen women on TV commercials rubbing lotion onto their hands and joints. I had felt my mother’s cold cream and hand lotion. I had also once poked my fingers in the semi-solid bacon grease she kept at room temperature in a cup in the kitchen.
Naturally I assumed this elbow grease stuff was something like that—off-white, kind of slimy, kind of slippery. I remember triumphantly running into the kitchen telling everyone I was ready to do some serious cleaning.
Then I showed them the boil on my elbow, shouting, “Elbow grease, elbow grease!” as I squeezed it out.
That’s when I learned why comedians call funny things gags.
I also remember being really paranoid about behind my ears. Ears were the place my mom had told me to never stick anything smaller than my elbow.
Ever the young scientist, I was always trying to contort myself so I could stick my elbow in my ear to compare.
In any event, my mom once told me it was dirty enough behind my ears to raise potatoes. She said I needed to get them "really clean." I was traumatized. From that point forward whenever I felt a little bump behind my ear, I was certain it was a potato about to sprout.
And I was totally panicked. I couldn’t get them "really clean," because I couldn’t get my elbow close enough to use elbow grease.
America, ya gotta love it.