#741 Infinite Language

One of the great things about the American language is how flexible it is. They call Latin a dead language because it never changes. No one is inventing any new Latin these days.
It’s fossilized, finalized, finis.
No one is going to come up with the Latin equivalent of “for shizzle”. But with American, new words keep popping up everyday.
What’s this “American” you say, don’t you mean English?
Nope.
I think we’ve reached the point where we North Americans can lay claim to a new language, or at least one deserving of its own name. American and English are like horses and asses. Put ‘em together and the parts still fit, but try to breed ‘em and you get mules.
American is growing with entrepreneurial energy. Slang rapidly merging into the mainstream. Words quickly invented to cover new realities. “Cellphone” is a great example. “Spam” another. “Email.” “Texting” as a verb. Our language grows with new activities and whether I’m fat and sassy or chillin’ in the shade it’s all good dude.
Well, it’s not all good.
I heard a commercial the other day where the announcer said a battery had a “fer-miliar” name. Sorry. I won’t accept “fermiliar” any more than I will accept “Warshington.” Or doing the “warshing.”
Odd. Since our language easily accommodates the three pronunciations of debacle. DeBOCKel. DeBACKel and DEBickel. It’s also quite inclusive when it comes to the word Integral, allowing for both IN-tig-rul and In-TEG-rul.
This commercial with “fermiliar” in it also didn’t seem to know the meaning of the word trust. Or perhaps was employing the recent political and Madison Avenue strategy of “Assertive Hyperbole.”
Say some exaggeration firmly enough, often enough, and people won’t question you long enough for you to succeed a bit because of whatever lie it is you’re trying to foist on them.
The tag line of the fermiliar ad was, “Duracell. Trusted Everywhere.”
Hmmm. Last time I looked everywhere was big place—most likely with many sentient beings that have never seen Duracell anything.
Everywhere is, you know, like infinity, something no mind can comprehend—and no language can really describe.
America, ya gotta love it.