#722 Enchante

Lately it seems everywhere I turn people are Frenchifying words. Perhaps it’s a consequence of Starbucks. Like how Dunkin Donuts has been satirizing them lately. Is it a Grande? Is it a Vente? Or can’t we just say Large and Extra Large? What Dunkin calls a weird mixture of French and Italian—Fre-talian.
I only know that my whole life I’ve pronounced ambience, am-bee-ence. And lately I hear people saying ahm-bee-ahnce.
Oh dear, this place has such a dark ahm-bee-ahnce, I feel like we’re in the midst of a film noir setting.
Likewise the word homage, which I’ve always rendered as ahmidge. Kind of like the Amish folk, you know, those quaint people who resist change¾that we pay homage too when we feel like cherishing their simpler society.
I’ve been a couple of places where people have pronounced it Oh-mahdge, with the stress on the last syllable. Let’s pay Oh-mahdge to the creator of this fine ahm-bee-ahnce.
These people seem to have developed a penchant for re-frenchifying words. Excuse me, that’s another one. Penchant. Recently I’ve been hearing it rendered as pahn-chahn.
I have a pahn-chahn for giving oh-madge to arteests that design rooms with a delightful ahm-bee-ahnce.
The truth is, all these words were French to start with. And all of them are appropriately pronounced with a French accent—if you’re in France.
But really, if we start re-frenchifying every word in the English language that started out in that grape-trodden country, we’d get totally confused. Not to mention developing a permanent suppressed honk-like noise in the back of our noses.
Here’s a little tip, the essence of developing a French accent is to say the word honk without the “K” at the end and sort of pinch off the “N” two inches back from your nostrils. Hahn Hahn Hahn.
Think pompous arrogant goose.
Anyhow. If we started the re-frenchification process, lots of words would have to be re-pronounced. Like Avenue. Boulevard. Cul-de-sac.
Oh well. You got to hand it to the French. It looks like when we had a hard time coming up with road names, they came through for us.
America, ya gotta love it.