#679 Unfrizz

A Scottish comedian once pointed out that the hair we neglect the most, that from our armpit and, um, legpit regions, is the hair that is most healthy, silky, curly and luxuriant.
It is only our head hair that we feel we should overdo, dipity or otherwise. And so we shampoo.
After shampooing comes conditioning. Or so we are conditioned to believe. Even the fanciest shampoo’s job is to strip hair of unsightly oil buildup. So it’s required we substitute something for that oil to put back in.
Lest our hair dry and suffer from parchedness. Or is that parchity?
The shampoo industry, excuse me, the hair product industry, is not content to just place us on this endlessly lucrative—for them—wheel of destruction and renewal. No, the shampoo Shivas make sure we understand the terms of refusing to play their game.
If we don’t apply their non-animal tested concoctions to the dead protein matter sprouting from our scalps we will suffer the dire consequences of (scary music) the frizz.
“Frizz” is one of those words that sounds made up, like “for shizzle.” But, in fact, it dates back to around 1660 when it was adapted from the French word friser.
In those days, there wasn’t a lot of shampooing going on so it was just used as a word to indicate small tight curls. At no time during the following centuries did it mean anything negative.
Until now.
Now we are told to avoid the frizz like some kind of plague. Garnier Fructis even has an anti-frizz serum.
The word serum really makes you think it’s scientific and medical doesn’t it? If only Garnier Fructis will send their anti-frizz serum to the CDC, we’ll have that frizz plague knocked out in no time.
These folks are serious.
So serious they have a Spanish translation on their bottle about the dread frizz. Garnier Fructis provides, “Controla el frizz.”
Wow. Sounds like something you to smuggle. Hey senor, would you like some controla el frizz?
Or perhaps some Latin crime kingpin.
You’d better watch out for El Frizz.
America, ya gotta love it.