#678 Ubiquitous Ingredient

So it’s probably not the best idea in the world to be reading the labels on your shampoo bottle. As I was looking through the list of ingredients on mine the other day, I noticed among all the chemicals and herbs an interesting thing.
My shampoo is, quote: “Enriched with a Marine Algae Extract which offers sustained moisturization for all hair types.”
Sustained moisturization, huh? Sounds like a little Pacific Northwest in every bottle.
Or some odd courtroom exchange: I object, your honor, plaintiff’s attorney is obviously engaged in an attempt to not only deceive us but make the jury think we’re all wet with this nonsensical accusation of moisturization. Sustained.
I love the way copywriters play with words to make stuff seem more attractive. Sustained moisturization. Much better than moisturized, and a whole heck of a lot better than damp.
And let’s hand it to them, “marine algae extract” sounds so much better than, um, pond scum.
Yes, pond scum, because, curious George that I am, I scanned down the ingredients list to see if they have broken down and defined what this marine algae extract is.
Like they have to break down, say, the constitution of marshmallows in a Rice Krispie treat.
Turns out marine algae extract is, “hydrolyzed algin, chlorella vulgaris, and sea water.”
Chlorella is a form of unicellular green algae found in still, fresh water. It is actually used as an immune booster in the treatment of cancer. Hydrolyzed algin usually comes from brown algae. Seawater is, well, cheap.
And ubiquitous.
Not only that, it’s readily available in a variety of chemically tainted options. The seawater from say, the Hylebos waterway in Tacoma is richer in certain heavy metals, dioxins and other latent carcinogens than, say, the seawater off the coast of Easter Island.
I’m guessing the shampoo ingredient batch was harvested closer in.
So it’s lucky chlorella vulgaris is a cancer fighter.
It probably shouldn’t need to be said, but I’m thinking this is another good reason not to eat your shampoo.
America, ya gotta love it.