#676 Undetectable Camo

Not long ago I went through this giant outdoor store. I’d heard they had the biggest camouflage section in all of creation so I went to check it out.
When I got in the store, I couldn’t find it.
Now that’s good camouflage.
Actually, when I finally adjusted my eyes and saw it, I was totally and completely amazed. I had no idea there was so much camo in the whole wide world.
They don’t just have amorphous-leaf cheapo one-dimensional Walmart camo. They have camo for every conceivable habitat.
If the thing you want to kill or photograph lives in the marshes, they had camo for the marshes. Prey in the mature oak forest? Camo ditto.
Soon-to-be bleeding pheasant in the low scrublands? Low scrublands camo at your service, right down to the authentic rendition of a crushed can of Buckhorn peeking through the leaf litter.
Just kidding. But still, some hunting areas in the great American outback are less pristine than the camo artistic license indicated.
They also had camo with little flaps on it, which looked like leaves trembling in the breeze, so a flat uniform surface wouldn’t give you away to your sharp-eyed prey.
Good idea, except it kind of looked like they’d put your new outfit through a paper shredder.
They even had olfactory camo. That’s right, not content to just befuddle the visual sense of soon-to-be-fooled and dead prey, they had camo that was impregnated with “anti-scent” to remove human odors from the air as well.
Now that’s a cool idea. Hand those clothes out at the hobo shelter. Think of the carbon footprint they’d reduce with the energy savings on all that hot shower water.
Green camo!
But one of the weirdest things I saw was a camo vest for your hunting dog. Yep. You wouldn’t want your dog to look like an animal.
Actually it’s a good idea. I’m guessing your average dumb deer wouldn’t be concerned one way or another if your dog looked like Goofy or Pluto.
But if he looks too much like an animal some irresponsible drunk human might shoot him.
America, ya gotta love it.