#665 Yoga Back Hair

My sister and brother-in-law sent me a page from a décor store mail circular the other day.
Does anyone say the word circular any more? It was one of those words that troubled me as a child. I couldn’t figure out why people called them a circular when they were so obviously rectangular.
In any event, the page from this flyer was for personal products. This décor store also has lots of personal grooming aids. There are the type that are not quite in the Sharper Image category but not as strange as in a Lillian Vernon catalogue.
The products ranged from automatic ultrasonic jewelry and DVD cleaners to hair removal devices. One of the hair removal devices was called the Emjoi tweeze. It promised to “easily” remove female facial hair with an automatic tweezer system.
At no point did they use the word painlessly. I think the name Emjoi comes from the sound you make when your lips are pressed together in pain and you’re trying to tell someone “I’m emjoi-ing this...”
Because it really looked like a variation on the old Epilady twisted spring, catch-your-hair-and-rip-it-out method of the 80s.
I always thought they should have a smaller version for your nostrils and call it the epi-nasal. It could just reach in with pinpoint accuracy and twist your nostril hairs out.
Youch.
Naso-masochism.
But the feature “gift for him” in the circular was a product called “Mangroomer.” It showed a picture of a guy holding a 3 foot wand-like thing to his back in order to shave off his unsightly man hair.
Really.
Have we come so far from our masculinity in the effete 2000s that we now shave our back hair daily?
Cause it would have to be daily. A five o’clock shadow on your lats would play hell with your clothes. You’d be sandpapering holes in your T-shirts pretty quick.
And most electric shavers I know require some pretty positive pressure. So how would you get the angle for the pressure?
Of course, if you’re shaving your back hair you’re probably taking yoga.
The rest of us would be embarrassed at the chiropractor. Sorry doc, I threw my back out using my Mangroomer...
America, ya gotta love it