#662 Yule be Glad

The Holiday Season is here and that means it’s time to find the perfect gift for those you love. This holiday season I’m happy to spread joy with the first inaugural Funny Guy celebrity gift list.
If you’re a celebrity there’s no greater compliment than for a manufacturer to name a product after you.
Years later, long after your celebrity has faded away, when Us and Them and People haven’t had your face grace their cover for decades, when the National Enquirer doesn’t want to know anything about your tired old facelift, then you’ll be glad you let your agent talk you into putting your name on a product or line of merchandise.
Just ask Jaclyn Smith. Her agent was the best guardian angel of all. Today’s young K-Mart shopper hasn’t a clue she had anything to do with an invisible guy named Charlie.
So, celebrity gifts for 2007.
This one from the currently popular Angelina Jolie. It’s a whole line of gourmet food products, sun-dried tomatoes, goat cheeses, etc. The most interesting product in the line bodes ill for her relationship with her current paramour though.
The tabloids will certainly step up the gossip when they hear about the “Brad Pitt-less Olive.”
Hate mismatching your all white gym socks? Michael Jackson takes a tasteless turn back to the limelight with a new product designed to keep track of the ones he favors—the below the ankle socks known as peds.
Tired of losing track of your peds in the dryer? Use Michael Jackson’s filing system—The Ped-o-file.
I told you it was in bad taste.
I think one big box store is taking a smart turn though. Remember what Martha Stewart and Jaclyn Smith did for K-mart.
They’re updating their stodgy image to a sassy new style and renaming their home décor store, Bed Bath and Beyonce.
And this next one is a winner from the get go. Who wouldn’t want to mount a tiny cooking device directly to their teeth?
No more messy raw food ever again. Make panninis in your mouth and put bling on your choppers too.
With George Foreman Grillz.
America, ya gotta love it