#657 Violinters

So lately, I’ve been performing with a musical group. Unlike the garage bands I used to drum for in the 60s though, this is the real thing.
It’s got 18 pieces and many of them are, you know, band instruments. Woods and brass and stuff.
As the emcee for this group I’ve had occasion, after a particularly blistering solo, to yell out praise and name the instrument in question. Or, more accurately, the instrument player in the context of his instrument.
As in, let’s hear it for Pat Jeffries, trombonist.
And it got me thinking. Not all instruments have a straightforward word that a player of that instrument can identify himself with.
Trombone players do, Trombonist. Still, the more lyrical tromboner is not used, although if I was using the telephone, I would be a telephoner, not a telephonist.
Perhaps “tromboner” is reserved for the trombone player who makes a lot of errors. As when my grandmother chided my Uncle Wally for “pulling a boner” when he made a mistake.
Saxophoner is also not used, as the term saxophonist has established itself over the years. Funny, because the word sax player is also used, but we never here the term saxist.
Even before the musical equal rights amendment.
Interestingly, musical instrument players have never had to struggle with and revise gender specific words like chairman and fireman and stuff. Although some singers did have a little issue.
The “Frank Sinatra, Chairman of the Board” designation would have sounded a little less macho rendered as “Frank Sinatra, Chairperson of the Board.”
Drums have drummer and not drummist, while clarinets have clarinetists and not clarineters.
Cornet players are tough. Corneter sounds like someone wearing a crown and a cornetist sounds like a foot surgeon. Or is that cornist?
Oh well. I suppose there’s always bugler.
Banjo players I can’t figure at all. Banjist? Banjee-a-dor? Maybe if he shrieks too, he could be a screaming banjee.
A friend of mine came up with the best one. Banjinista. I like it. Sounds like a banjo playing latte maker.
America, ya gotta love it