#558 Points Deduction

A woman is suing a funeral home for cremating her husband without her consent and in the process also incinerating his prosthetic leg.
She is suing for unprofessionalism, distress, and what not. Plus she won’t get back her damage deposit on the limb.
It is unfortunate. I had a dear friend whose father died shortly after expensive hip replacement surgery. The artificial hip was an off-the-shelf model and retailed for nearly 10,000 dollars.
Probably worth at least 5,000 on Ebay.
That could have helped offset the cost of the funeral. And the deceased dude isn’t going to be worrying about a little limp in heaven.
Do they have artificial hips in heaven? I know my Father’s house has many mansions and all that, but does the flesh-to-soul transubstantiation process bring along pacemakers and artificial joints and stuff?
I envision this kind of Star Trek transporter thing with people appearing in heaven one soul cell at a time, gradually taking shape in their new ideal form. And unnatural stuff dropping out on the floor-plate like loose change in a carnival ride.
And what about someone else’s transplanted organs? Do they make the trip with you to heaven or do they get sent back to the original owner?
The guy whose kidney you’re sporting, that went to you after he died in an automobile accident where he drunkenly wiped out a busload of kids. Whisk that urine strainer off to hell.
And your previously angelified original, that’s been waiting for you in heaven for a couple of decades, pops back in.
I’m hoping current trends continue and we all take this heaven thing really, really, seriously. Then maybe banks, in their effort to lend more and more money, would let us like take a second mortgage on our mansion in heaven.
And if we did, maybe we could depreciate it for tax purposes. You know, find another way to render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s.
I mean, I know the current administration is being more inclusive of Christianity in government and all. Banking can’t be far behind.
Maybe this is a way to tap into the value of some real estate with a really heavenly view.
America ya gotta love it