#555 Tiptoe Through the Minefield

The Freedom of Information act is a cool thing.
I always get a kick out of reading about just-released documents that detail the really wacky things our government does.
Take the US Army.
Turns out at one point they seriously considered a “gay” bomb that would incapacitate enemy troops by getting them to have sex with one another. The plan was to drop a powerful aphrodisiac on the enemy, turn them all gay, and then attack while they were in the throes of carnal abandon.
Or possibly the military heads took their stereotyping theory further and predicted the enemy would be so busy, um, decorating they’d be unable to mount a counter attack. Cause, you know, that counter would look a lot nicer with granite and a handcrafted tile backsplash.
Gay groups reacted to this news angrily, insulted at the notion that being gay somehow means you can’t keep your mind on the job at hand.
Whether you are an army guy, a construction worker, a policeman, or even an Indian chief.
Which is to say, gay people use the YMCA to exercise just like everyone else.
It’s interesting that the US army would assume a powerful enough aphrodisiac would turn men on to other men.
My guess would be the bombed troops would be able to control it after, say, the first binge.
Then the unbombed troops would be facing angry, coyote-date enemies full of rage, disgust, and the will to get it all over with.
Not that they’d necessarily be disgusted with gayness. But waking up with ugly and bad-breathed Sparky in the communications tent may be just the thing to tip someone over the edge into suicide bonsai land.
If the military were smart, they’d develop a “domesticated male” bomb to use on the enemy. A chemical concoction that simulates the lassitude men get after years of marriage.
That makes them want nothing more than to ignore the honey-do list and tip back in the recliner to watch the game.
War? Who cares?
The Mariners are on.
Aren’t those new uniforms cute?
America ya gotta love it